Social Networking Leads to "Frenemies" For Women
Author: Ayra Moore
Published: March 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm
So,you hear time and time again how “great” the social network is, right? Well, for some, it is.
A majority of women, however, have become quite disgusted with the “friends” they have collected on Facebook, finding them very bothersome at times.
According to an article posted on Networkworld.com, Eversave, a company dealing in coupons, recently conducted a survey centered on how social networking influences shopping and the use of deals. They got a lot more info than they expected apparently.
Woman, who still admit they communicate more frequently and readily thanks to social networking, are also complaining about their Facebook pals. The women are getting tired of seeing status updates from their newfound “frenemies” regarding personal complaints, praise for their children, grandchildren, political views and bragging about their lives in general.
The result, in my opinion, to these,very amusing, recent findings is simple: No matter what outlet women use to attempt to communicate, we will always find that the company of other women will grow annoying and tiresome if it lasts too long. What is the saying regarding “too much of a good thing”? It may very well do you harm. Women and their “frenemies” should take note.
Read more: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/social-networking-leads-to-frenemies-for/#ixzz1INa62MAn
MY THOUGHTS
What bothers me about Facebook is that you are 'friends' with people who are not really your friends. If you are, why would status updates about family annoy you? Why would you consider 'happy news' as 'bragging'? Why won't you want to know more about your 'friend' through their 'political views'?
My biggest question is - why are you on Facebook if things like these annoy you?
Showing posts with label facebook overshare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook overshare. Show all posts
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
DON'T GET FIRED BECAUSE OF FACEBOOK
Yes, You Should Be Fired For That Facebook Post. (No Matter What the Feds Say Next Week)
By Suzanne Lucas | January 21, 2011
Facebook is a tool used by teenagers to torment each other and for adults to complain about their bosses, right? Except that your rude commment about your boss or your coworker, or your inapproriate comments about stupid stuff you did could land you on the curb.
Right now the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) is preparing to hear a case where an employee was fired after criticizing her boss on Facebook. (Jon Hyman has a round up of information on this union firing.) But, the NLRB deals largely (although not exclusively) with union employees, who are definitely not “at will” employees, but are under contract.
I still think you should be careful.
I hear the screeching about free speech right now. Well, yes, you have the right to free speech, but I also believe that companies should have the right to terminate people who use that speech to denigrate the company. Free speech, not free from consequences speech. (And remember, it’s only government suppression of speech that is illegal.) Most employees in the United States are at will employees, which means that there is no contract of employment and either party can end it for any or no reason, as long as the reason isn’t an illegal one. For instance, you can’t fire an employee because she’s pregnant, but you can fire a pregnant employee, as long as the pregnancy isn’t the reason.
So, why am I in favor of companies being able to terminate an employee for online behavior? (These things, of course, aren’t limited to Facebook. Myspace, Twitter, and blogs are all good candidates for firing). Here are 3 Reasons.
1. Easy firing=easy hiring. I want companies to hire people. In fact, my fondest wish is that all my readers who are searching for jobs find one this year. The more restrictions government places on terminating employees, the more hesitant companies are to hire new people.
2. Bad judgment isn’t limited to online behavior. Companies need employees they can trust to make good decisions. If you lack the critical thinking skills to say, “Hmmm, if I post that my boss is a jerk, my boss just might find out about it,” then you probably lack the critical thinking skills to do your job. Yes, people vent. But the internet is not private. And anyone who thinks they can trust all their 476 friends to keep something quiet isn’t someone I want on my staff.
3. Companies should be able to presume loyalty. I know, I know, your company doesn’t care much about your career and they have no problem firing you, so why should you care about them? Because they pay you to care about them. In a pre-internet case where Delta airline employee was fired over a letter to the editor, “[t]he court in that case held that there ‘”is an implied duty of loyalty, with regard to public communications, that employees owe to their employers.’ Stating that Mr. Marsh violated this implied duty of loyalty by publicly disparaging Delta, the court found that his termination was just.” We forbid employees from giving information to the competitor, which would damage the company, so why not forbid employees from posting information that would hurt the company? The exception to this is when the company is engaging in illegal activity. Then employees should speak out and should be afforded whistleblower protection.
However, I also think that bosses should stay off their employees’ and candidates’ Facebook pages. Why? Because it opens up whole cans of fire-breathing worms. And, once those cans are open, the worms have no interest in going back in. Here’s why:
1. There are things you don’t want to know. Honestly and truly, there are things out there about your employees that you don’t want to know. Even though you can legally fire people easily, few companies allow you to actually do that. And there are lots of unemployed lawyers who would be happy to take your employee’s case.
2. Some information cannot be considered. Yes, you know the gender, age, race, national origin and, frequently, religion and sexual orientation of your employees. But, you can’t make decisions based on this information, so don’t browse Facebook looking for it. Wonder if Jim is gay? What about that candidate? She looked Jewish. Hmmmm. Seriously, even though you wouldn’t make a decision based on protected class information, doesn’t mean you won’t have to defend against it. If you don’t know, your defense is much easier.
3. Your employees are not your friends. I know, you’re a great boss and everyone loves you, but remember they love you because you are paying them. Please keep those worlds separate. Don’t try to “friend” your employees on Facebook, and don’t follow their personal blogs. (If they write career based ones, that’s a different story.) The Evil HR Lady Rule of Work Relationships is that when you are with people from the office you are at the office. Please don’t turn Facebook into the office. (And for heaven’s sake, don’t friend one or two members of your staff, but not the rest. Gah.)
4. One bad statement or questionable picture does not mean a person is a bad employee. We all make mistakes and things can be taken out of context as well. You cannot control it if your “friends” post pictures of you from 10 years ago. Don’t punish your 30 year old employees for something they did at 18.
Right now, I think both employees and employers should use caution when approaching social media at work. Companies need policies. And everyone should stop acting like they are in Junior High. It was bad enough the first time.
MY THOUGHTS
of course a boss and her staff can be friends. they just need to draw clear lines between professional and personal. it can be tricky. but not impossible. as for FB, i think any attack on any person should not be made public. and yes, i'm all for firing someone who would say something bad about the company. that's normally in the rules of conduct.
By Suzanne Lucas | January 21, 2011
Facebook is a tool used by teenagers to torment each other and for adults to complain about their bosses, right? Except that your rude commment about your boss or your coworker, or your inapproriate comments about stupid stuff you did could land you on the curb.
Right now the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) is preparing to hear a case where an employee was fired after criticizing her boss on Facebook. (Jon Hyman has a round up of information on this union firing.) But, the NLRB deals largely (although not exclusively) with union employees, who are definitely not “at will” employees, but are under contract.
I still think you should be careful.
I hear the screeching about free speech right now. Well, yes, you have the right to free speech, but I also believe that companies should have the right to terminate people who use that speech to denigrate the company. Free speech, not free from consequences speech. (And remember, it’s only government suppression of speech that is illegal.) Most employees in the United States are at will employees, which means that there is no contract of employment and either party can end it for any or no reason, as long as the reason isn’t an illegal one. For instance, you can’t fire an employee because she’s pregnant, but you can fire a pregnant employee, as long as the pregnancy isn’t the reason.
So, why am I in favor of companies being able to terminate an employee for online behavior? (These things, of course, aren’t limited to Facebook. Myspace, Twitter, and blogs are all good candidates for firing). Here are 3 Reasons.
1. Easy firing=easy hiring. I want companies to hire people. In fact, my fondest wish is that all my readers who are searching for jobs find one this year. The more restrictions government places on terminating employees, the more hesitant companies are to hire new people.
2. Bad judgment isn’t limited to online behavior. Companies need employees they can trust to make good decisions. If you lack the critical thinking skills to say, “Hmmm, if I post that my boss is a jerk, my boss just might find out about it,” then you probably lack the critical thinking skills to do your job. Yes, people vent. But the internet is not private. And anyone who thinks they can trust all their 476 friends to keep something quiet isn’t someone I want on my staff.
3. Companies should be able to presume loyalty. I know, I know, your company doesn’t care much about your career and they have no problem firing you, so why should you care about them? Because they pay you to care about them. In a pre-internet case where Delta airline employee was fired over a letter to the editor, “[t]he court in that case held that there ‘”is an implied duty of loyalty, with regard to public communications, that employees owe to their employers.’ Stating that Mr. Marsh violated this implied duty of loyalty by publicly disparaging Delta, the court found that his termination was just.” We forbid employees from giving information to the competitor, which would damage the company, so why not forbid employees from posting information that would hurt the company? The exception to this is when the company is engaging in illegal activity. Then employees should speak out and should be afforded whistleblower protection.
However, I also think that bosses should stay off their employees’ and candidates’ Facebook pages. Why? Because it opens up whole cans of fire-breathing worms. And, once those cans are open, the worms have no interest in going back in. Here’s why:
1. There are things you don’t want to know. Honestly and truly, there are things out there about your employees that you don’t want to know. Even though you can legally fire people easily, few companies allow you to actually do that. And there are lots of unemployed lawyers who would be happy to take your employee’s case.
2. Some information cannot be considered. Yes, you know the gender, age, race, national origin and, frequently, religion and sexual orientation of your employees. But, you can’t make decisions based on this information, so don’t browse Facebook looking for it. Wonder if Jim is gay? What about that candidate? She looked Jewish. Hmmmm. Seriously, even though you wouldn’t make a decision based on protected class information, doesn’t mean you won’t have to defend against it. If you don’t know, your defense is much easier.
3. Your employees are not your friends. I know, you’re a great boss and everyone loves you, but remember they love you because you are paying them. Please keep those worlds separate. Don’t try to “friend” your employees on Facebook, and don’t follow their personal blogs. (If they write career based ones, that’s a different story.) The Evil HR Lady Rule of Work Relationships is that when you are with people from the office you are at the office. Please don’t turn Facebook into the office. (And for heaven’s sake, don’t friend one or two members of your staff, but not the rest. Gah.)
4. One bad statement or questionable picture does not mean a person is a bad employee. We all make mistakes and things can be taken out of context as well. You cannot control it if your “friends” post pictures of you from 10 years ago. Don’t punish your 30 year old employees for something they did at 18.
Right now, I think both employees and employers should use caution when approaching social media at work. Companies need policies. And everyone should stop acting like they are in Junior High. It was bad enough the first time.
MY THOUGHTS
of course a boss and her staff can be friends. they just need to draw clear lines between professional and personal. it can be tricky. but not impossible. as for FB, i think any attack on any person should not be made public. and yes, i'm all for firing someone who would say something bad about the company. that's normally in the rules of conduct.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
can facebook hurt relationships
Facebook And Relationships: Is There A Dark Side To Social Media Network Overshare?
By: Wilson Kerr
Every so often a disruptive innovation take root so rapidly that negative sociological impacts are masked by the euphoria of the initial rush to acceptance.
Facebook has over 500 Million users and the average active user spends 55 minutes per day checking or updating their newsfeed. If we assume all users are “active”, this amounts to (the equivalent of) an incredible 52,279 YEARS per day spent on Facebook.
There is no doubt that Facebook has reconnected old friends, served as an easy bridge for quick communication, and allowed people to share their business and personal lives in a new and exciting ways. But is there a societal downside to this torrent of flippant, instantaneous, and often narcissistic overshare? Aside from the security and privacy implications of sharing inappropriate details of location or age or sexuality, there is another element that I am not sure has been explored fully.
Is Facebook causing divorce? Increasing evidence suggests that easy access to out-of-context personal details and feelings from others can become a distraction and temptation that fuels the exploration of unconstructive possibilities by the recipient. Can quickly and easily reconnecting with people from one’s past cause the reawakening of feelings that are out of context and likely irrelevant, yet real and powerful enough to cause marital disruption?
Clearly, Facebook does not cause divorce, as there are any manner of ways to end a marriage, if one is so inclined. But this new form of communication is clearly having some effect on relationships, as it opens a door to the past instantly and fuels communication between people in a radically new way.
While data is as scant as Facebook is new, an article from Australia digs into the issue, stating that, “British divorce firm Divorce-Online said Facebook was cited in one-fifth of the divorce petitions it processed last year…Australian Family Relationships Clearing House manager Elly Robinson said online behavior was causing friction in households. “Relationships develop more quickly online because inhibitions are lowered, it’s easy to exchange information, people are online 24/7, there’s an (endless) amount of people you can link up with who are there for the same reason, real life pressures fade away … it’s a bit of a fantasy world,” she said.
CNET blogger Chris Matyszczyk has written several posts about this subject and, in one, explores the notion of Facebook fueling a sort of addictive jealousy feedback loop, whereby potentially damaging communication is happened upon by one partner, causing a disruptive, endless loop of distrust to form, with Facebook at the center of this storm of discontent.
Obviously, a phone call or an email or letter can accomplish a reconnection to an old flame, if one is so inclined. But Facebook allows this curiosity about the past, and the temptation to explore it, to become actionable in a matter of seconds. Like a magic, instantaneous worldwide time machine Rolodex, complete with photos and (often) intimate details, Facebook fosters connections and the sharing of thoughts and feelings that are perhaps detrimental to one’s current situation, or at least out of context.
The tendency to peek into the lives of others that Facebook fosters is by-design and how Facebook’s business model works. The more “what’s on your mind” thoughts and details shared and read, the more pages viewed, the more ads displayed, the more money Facebook makes ($800 Million annually, at last count). And this is largely positive and benign. But this also can lead to the turning over of emotional rocks from the past, that are sometimes best left undisturbed. People often do not think about how their personally charged thoughts and feelings will affect others, when broadcast to a wide audience, with a range of perspectives and loyalties.
Living in the moment, being present, and looking ahead is not something Americans are particularly good at. We tend to yearn for “days gone by” and wish we had done things differently. We devour nostalgia with an insatiable appetite for “a simpler time”. Classic Coke, The Wonder Years, Happy Days, Back To The Future, That 70's Show…the list goes on and on. Being thoughtful and aware and mindful is very important and this is especially true when communicating with others.
Facebook, on the other hand, tends to encourage flip, often thoughtless interaction and communication that sometimes causes unforeseen harm. A letter can be torn up. A private conversation held in-trust can be kept secret. A harsh exchange can be apologized for and forgotten about. But a Facebook post is different. It can be forwarded and copied and viewed without limit. A flip curiosity about “what might have been” or a personal complaint from the moment, can become locked in and temporary feelings pushed out to others without context are easily mistaken for deeper sentiments.
Those who are divorced can share their personal joy and newfound “freedom” with trusted friends who might be in the throes of a difficult period of their marriage. This overshare of thoughts, photos, and “advice” from those who have not succeeded with the hard work required to keep a marriage intact is often counter-productive and can even be purposefully disruptive.
For a frightening look at just how public Facebook is, try typing the search term (in quotes) “don’t tell anyone” into the Openbook site. This is a live searchable feed of real Facebook posts, created to demonstrate the perils of Facebook overshare.
Facebook is a powerful new social networking took with many benefits. Marriage is not always easy. Both of these statements are true. But all who use Facebook should be mindful of the need to be sensitive to others and use extra care when communicating to your network while temporarily blinded by emotion or distress.
MY THOUGHTS
this is getting really uncomfortable. come to think of it, there's so much truth in this article.
By: Wilson Kerr
Every so often a disruptive innovation take root so rapidly that negative sociological impacts are masked by the euphoria of the initial rush to acceptance.
Facebook has over 500 Million users and the average active user spends 55 minutes per day checking or updating their newsfeed. If we assume all users are “active”, this amounts to (the equivalent of) an incredible 52,279 YEARS per day spent on Facebook.
There is no doubt that Facebook has reconnected old friends, served as an easy bridge for quick communication, and allowed people to share their business and personal lives in a new and exciting ways. But is there a societal downside to this torrent of flippant, instantaneous, and often narcissistic overshare? Aside from the security and privacy implications of sharing inappropriate details of location or age or sexuality, there is another element that I am not sure has been explored fully.
Is Facebook causing divorce? Increasing evidence suggests that easy access to out-of-context personal details and feelings from others can become a distraction and temptation that fuels the exploration of unconstructive possibilities by the recipient. Can quickly and easily reconnecting with people from one’s past cause the reawakening of feelings that are out of context and likely irrelevant, yet real and powerful enough to cause marital disruption?
Clearly, Facebook does not cause divorce, as there are any manner of ways to end a marriage, if one is so inclined. But this new form of communication is clearly having some effect on relationships, as it opens a door to the past instantly and fuels communication between people in a radically new way.
While data is as scant as Facebook is new, an article from Australia digs into the issue, stating that, “British divorce firm Divorce-Online said Facebook was cited in one-fifth of the divorce petitions it processed last year…Australian Family Relationships Clearing House manager Elly Robinson said online behavior was causing friction in households. “Relationships develop more quickly online because inhibitions are lowered, it’s easy to exchange information, people are online 24/7, there’s an (endless) amount of people you can link up with who are there for the same reason, real life pressures fade away … it’s a bit of a fantasy world,” she said.
CNET blogger Chris Matyszczyk has written several posts about this subject and, in one, explores the notion of Facebook fueling a sort of addictive jealousy feedback loop, whereby potentially damaging communication is happened upon by one partner, causing a disruptive, endless loop of distrust to form, with Facebook at the center of this storm of discontent.
Obviously, a phone call or an email or letter can accomplish a reconnection to an old flame, if one is so inclined. But Facebook allows this curiosity about the past, and the temptation to explore it, to become actionable in a matter of seconds. Like a magic, instantaneous worldwide time machine Rolodex, complete with photos and (often) intimate details, Facebook fosters connections and the sharing of thoughts and feelings that are perhaps detrimental to one’s current situation, or at least out of context.
The tendency to peek into the lives of others that Facebook fosters is by-design and how Facebook’s business model works. The more “what’s on your mind” thoughts and details shared and read, the more pages viewed, the more ads displayed, the more money Facebook makes ($800 Million annually, at last count). And this is largely positive and benign. But this also can lead to the turning over of emotional rocks from the past, that are sometimes best left undisturbed. People often do not think about how their personally charged thoughts and feelings will affect others, when broadcast to a wide audience, with a range of perspectives and loyalties.
Living in the moment, being present, and looking ahead is not something Americans are particularly good at. We tend to yearn for “days gone by” and wish we had done things differently. We devour nostalgia with an insatiable appetite for “a simpler time”. Classic Coke, The Wonder Years, Happy Days, Back To The Future, That 70's Show…the list goes on and on. Being thoughtful and aware and mindful is very important and this is especially true when communicating with others.
Facebook, on the other hand, tends to encourage flip, often thoughtless interaction and communication that sometimes causes unforeseen harm. A letter can be torn up. A private conversation held in-trust can be kept secret. A harsh exchange can be apologized for and forgotten about. But a Facebook post is different. It can be forwarded and copied and viewed without limit. A flip curiosity about “what might have been” or a personal complaint from the moment, can become locked in and temporary feelings pushed out to others without context are easily mistaken for deeper sentiments.
Those who are divorced can share their personal joy and newfound “freedom” with trusted friends who might be in the throes of a difficult period of their marriage. This overshare of thoughts, photos, and “advice” from those who have not succeeded with the hard work required to keep a marriage intact is often counter-productive and can even be purposefully disruptive.
For a frightening look at just how public Facebook is, try typing the search term (in quotes) “don’t tell anyone” into the Openbook site. This is a live searchable feed of real Facebook posts, created to demonstrate the perils of Facebook overshare.
Facebook is a powerful new social networking took with many benefits. Marriage is not always easy. Both of these statements are true. But all who use Facebook should be mindful of the need to be sensitive to others and use extra care when communicating to your network while temporarily blinded by emotion or distress.
MY THOUGHTS
this is getting really uncomfortable. come to think of it, there's so much truth in this article.
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