Social Networking Leads to "Frenemies" For Women
Author: Ayra Moore
Published: March 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm
So,you hear time and time again how “great” the social network is, right? Well, for some, it is.
A majority of women, however, have become quite disgusted with the “friends” they have collected on Facebook, finding them very bothersome at times.
According to an article posted on Networkworld.com, Eversave, a company dealing in coupons, recently conducted a survey centered on how social networking influences shopping and the use of deals. They got a lot more info than they expected apparently.
Woman, who still admit they communicate more frequently and readily thanks to social networking, are also complaining about their Facebook pals. The women are getting tired of seeing status updates from their newfound “frenemies” regarding personal complaints, praise for their children, grandchildren, political views and bragging about their lives in general.
The result, in my opinion, to these,very amusing, recent findings is simple: No matter what outlet women use to attempt to communicate, we will always find that the company of other women will grow annoying and tiresome if it lasts too long. What is the saying regarding “too much of a good thing”? It may very well do you harm. Women and their “frenemies” should take note.
Read more: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/social-networking-leads-to-frenemies-for/#ixzz1INa62MAn
MY THOUGHTS
What bothers me about Facebook is that you are 'friends' with people who are not really your friends. If you are, why would status updates about family annoy you? Why would you consider 'happy news' as 'bragging'? Why won't you want to know more about your 'friend' through their 'political views'?
My biggest question is - why are you on Facebook if things like these annoy you?
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
PARENTS AND KIDS AS FACEBOOK BUDDIES
Facebook Relationships: Natural for parents & teens
January 19, 2011 | Debbie Turner
http://www.onlinesocialmedia.net/20110119/facebook-relationships-natural-for-parents-teens/
The ever-growing Facebook is sometimes portrayed in a negative light and sometimes there has been the perception that teenagers who are using it are hooked on it and may also use it in rather a covert way, sometimes at the expense of good relationships with their parents.
However an article by Bernd Debusmann over on Reuters goes a long way to dispelling this idea by looking at results from a survey carried out by Kaplan Test Prep. It showed that perhaps contrary to popular opinion, around two-thirds of teenagers in America are happy to share social networking with their parents by having them as Facebook friends. However a note of caution is that 16% of those who have parents among their Facebook friends, only accept them as a prerequisite to signing up.
Not all teenagers are happy to accept their parents as Facebook friends either and 38% say that if their parents send them a friend request they ignore it. However executive director of Kaplan, Kristen Campbell said, “Facebook … continues to be the new frontier in the ever evolving relationship between parent and child,” and also points out that the majority of teens “are not hiding and that is positive.” It’s also noted that for many it opens lines of communication that did not previously exist and also allows teenagers to claim an amount of independence.
Campbell also describes using Facebook as a ‘natural step’ for those that have grown up as part of the Internet generation. Another article, this time by Bridget Tyler on KidGlue, also looks at these survey results and gives some good advice to parents out there that may be finding it hard to be a parent in the social networking age.
What are your thoughts on this and are you surprised by just how open most teenagers are? Where should parents draw the line at involvement in their teen’s social networking lives? Why not let us know by sending us your comments.
MY THOUGHTS
i feel so relieved i am so past teenage years. my mom has a facebook account(and she doesn't know how to use the computer). as a teenager i probably won't like to have my parents in my network. but then, in retrospect, i doubt we would have been allowed to get into social networking sites. i doubt that very very much.
January 19, 2011 | Debbie Turner
http://www.onlinesocialmedia.net/20110119/facebook-relationships-natural-for-parents-teens/
The ever-growing Facebook is sometimes portrayed in a negative light and sometimes there has been the perception that teenagers who are using it are hooked on it and may also use it in rather a covert way, sometimes at the expense of good relationships with their parents.
However an article by Bernd Debusmann over on Reuters goes a long way to dispelling this idea by looking at results from a survey carried out by Kaplan Test Prep. It showed that perhaps contrary to popular opinion, around two-thirds of teenagers in America are happy to share social networking with their parents by having them as Facebook friends. However a note of caution is that 16% of those who have parents among their Facebook friends, only accept them as a prerequisite to signing up.
Not all teenagers are happy to accept their parents as Facebook friends either and 38% say that if their parents send them a friend request they ignore it. However executive director of Kaplan, Kristen Campbell said, “Facebook … continues to be the new frontier in the ever evolving relationship between parent and child,” and also points out that the majority of teens “are not hiding and that is positive.” It’s also noted that for many it opens lines of communication that did not previously exist and also allows teenagers to claim an amount of independence.
Campbell also describes using Facebook as a ‘natural step’ for those that have grown up as part of the Internet generation. Another article, this time by Bridget Tyler on KidGlue, also looks at these survey results and gives some good advice to parents out there that may be finding it hard to be a parent in the social networking age.
What are your thoughts on this and are you surprised by just how open most teenagers are? Where should parents draw the line at involvement in their teen’s social networking lives? Why not let us know by sending us your comments.
MY THOUGHTS
i feel so relieved i am so past teenage years. my mom has a facebook account(and she doesn't know how to use the computer). as a teenager i probably won't like to have my parents in my network. but then, in retrospect, i doubt we would have been allowed to get into social networking sites. i doubt that very very much.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
social nettworking : The Dos and Don’ts of Facebook Dating
The Dos and Don’ts of Facebook Dating
Logging on to find love? Here's how to make a successful connection through social networking
Kimberly Dawn Neumann ON Oct 25, 2010 at 2:56PM
The Dos and Don’ts of Facebook Dating
Tempted to troll Facebook for dates? Experts say you should keep a few key rules in mind. Here, former The Bachelor star Matt Grant (you know, the cute British guy with over 3000 FB friends) and dating guru David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers, share seven cyber-dos and don’ts to help you secure your happy ending. We call it social date-working.
DO: Your Homework
Peruse your list of Facebook pals, then take a peek at their friend lists, suggests Wygant. Intrigued by someone you find there? Instead of shooting over a blind friend request, you can up your chances of a successful love connection by asking your mutual friend about that individual first. Just saying, "What do I have to do to get you to e-troduce us?” is usually enough to get the ball rolling. And don’t be afraid to pick the brain of your friend beforehand. He or she may be able to offer you some interesting tidbits about your new potential lover's personality and lifestyle, and that can help you decide if you’re truly compatible.
DO: Stand Out in the Crowd
Once your friend gives you the heads up, send your new love interest a light FB note like, “Hey, I’m Bill’s friend and I would love to chat if you’re game,” suggests Wygant. But don’t forget to include something of substance in this message, something to bond over. “For example, mention a comment they made on your shared friend’s profile, like, ‘We’re both in total agreement over the healthcare issue,’ or quote something you saw on their profile.” Search for common ground. “That way the initial connection becomes more about meaningful, shared interests -- not simple superficiality like ‘I saw your photo and think you’re hot,’” says Wygant.
DON’T: Come On Too Strong
“You would not believe how many women send me inappropriate photos of themselves via Facebook because of my appearance on The Bachelor,” says Grant, whose TV stint prompted an avalanche of FB friend requests. "It tells me they are likely only interested in appearances -- not a real relationship," he says.
DON’T: Dwell On Rejection
News stories of psychos on the Net can lead even the friendliest of people to throw up their iGuard. If you’re rejected, don’t ruminate, just move on. “People should be allowed to choose whether they accept or deny access without feeling guilty, and anyone on Facebook needs to understand that’s part of the process and not take it personally,” says Grant.
DO: Establish Boundaries
Though you may be tempted by popular apps that display your whereabouts -- Foursquare, anyone? -- when it comes to dating, discretion and privacy are at a premium. Don't advertise your location unless you are prepared to face the conquences, as in, “Why were you at a bar last night when you told me you had a headache and were staying at home?" Take the time to review your Facebook privacy settings, says Wygant. “Less information is always better, since more info can lead to misinterpretation,” he says. “Be as general as possible and only share a few personal tidbits.”
DON’T: Forget the Golden Rule
Be kind out there, and don’t let a snarky status update ruin your chances at love. Words travel fast online, and much like that game of Telephone, where one person whispers something to the next and so on and so forth until suddenly it’s twisted, an ugly word from you could get back to your date and really muck things up. “Let’s say you post that you had a horrible date. Now 300 people can read that update, and one of them could be best friends with the person you went out with, so you're basically publicly shaming somebody,” says Wygant. The bottom line: Speaking ill of others on FB is not an attractive trait.
DO: Give a Guy a Chance
You may prefer only to have Facebook friends whom you’ve met in person. If so, and a stranger reaches out to you, make sure you have a separate, nondescript email address on hand for them, Wygant suggests. That way you can politely write back and say something like, “I'm flattered you took the initiative to friend me, but I keep my Facebook page limited to people I’ve actually met in person, since I post personal information. But if you’d like to tell me a little more about yourself, feel free to email username@dot.com.” It’s a polite way to maintain your privacy, and keeps open the option of social date-working without giving the whole world access to your FB page.
MY THOUGHTS
by far,i have not really heard of anyone who's actually looking for FB dates. well, maybe my circle is past the "seeking" and "running after" games. the rules seem very sensible though.
Logging on to find love? Here's how to make a successful connection through social networking
Kimberly Dawn Neumann ON Oct 25, 2010 at 2:56PM
The Dos and Don’ts of Facebook Dating
Tempted to troll Facebook for dates? Experts say you should keep a few key rules in mind. Here, former The Bachelor star Matt Grant (you know, the cute British guy with over 3000 FB friends) and dating guru David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers, share seven cyber-dos and don’ts to help you secure your happy ending. We call it social date-working.
DO: Your Homework
Peruse your list of Facebook pals, then take a peek at their friend lists, suggests Wygant. Intrigued by someone you find there? Instead of shooting over a blind friend request, you can up your chances of a successful love connection by asking your mutual friend about that individual first. Just saying, "What do I have to do to get you to e-troduce us?” is usually enough to get the ball rolling. And don’t be afraid to pick the brain of your friend beforehand. He or she may be able to offer you some interesting tidbits about your new potential lover's personality and lifestyle, and that can help you decide if you’re truly compatible.
DO: Stand Out in the Crowd
Once your friend gives you the heads up, send your new love interest a light FB note like, “Hey, I’m Bill’s friend and I would love to chat if you’re game,” suggests Wygant. But don’t forget to include something of substance in this message, something to bond over. “For example, mention a comment they made on your shared friend’s profile, like, ‘We’re both in total agreement over the healthcare issue,’ or quote something you saw on their profile.” Search for common ground. “That way the initial connection becomes more about meaningful, shared interests -- not simple superficiality like ‘I saw your photo and think you’re hot,’” says Wygant.
DON’T: Come On Too Strong
“You would not believe how many women send me inappropriate photos of themselves via Facebook because of my appearance on The Bachelor,” says Grant, whose TV stint prompted an avalanche of FB friend requests. "It tells me they are likely only interested in appearances -- not a real relationship," he says.
DON’T: Dwell On Rejection
News stories of psychos on the Net can lead even the friendliest of people to throw up their iGuard. If you’re rejected, don’t ruminate, just move on. “People should be allowed to choose whether they accept or deny access without feeling guilty, and anyone on Facebook needs to understand that’s part of the process and not take it personally,” says Grant.
DO: Establish Boundaries
Though you may be tempted by popular apps that display your whereabouts -- Foursquare, anyone? -- when it comes to dating, discretion and privacy are at a premium. Don't advertise your location unless you are prepared to face the conquences, as in, “Why were you at a bar last night when you told me you had a headache and were staying at home?" Take the time to review your Facebook privacy settings, says Wygant. “Less information is always better, since more info can lead to misinterpretation,” he says. “Be as general as possible and only share a few personal tidbits.”
DON’T: Forget the Golden Rule
Be kind out there, and don’t let a snarky status update ruin your chances at love. Words travel fast online, and much like that game of Telephone, where one person whispers something to the next and so on and so forth until suddenly it’s twisted, an ugly word from you could get back to your date and really muck things up. “Let’s say you post that you had a horrible date. Now 300 people can read that update, and one of them could be best friends with the person you went out with, so you're basically publicly shaming somebody,” says Wygant. The bottom line: Speaking ill of others on FB is not an attractive trait.
DO: Give a Guy a Chance
You may prefer only to have Facebook friends whom you’ve met in person. If so, and a stranger reaches out to you, make sure you have a separate, nondescript email address on hand for them, Wygant suggests. That way you can politely write back and say something like, “I'm flattered you took the initiative to friend me, but I keep my Facebook page limited to people I’ve actually met in person, since I post personal information. But if you’d like to tell me a little more about yourself, feel free to email username@dot.com.” It’s a polite way to maintain your privacy, and keeps open the option of social date-working without giving the whole world access to your FB page.
MY THOUGHTS
by far,i have not really heard of anyone who's actually looking for FB dates. well, maybe my circle is past the "seeking" and "running after" games. the rules seem very sensible though.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
can facebook hurt relationships
Facebook And Relationships: Is There A Dark Side To Social Media Network Overshare?
By: Wilson Kerr
Every so often a disruptive innovation take root so rapidly that negative sociological impacts are masked by the euphoria of the initial rush to acceptance.
Facebook has over 500 Million users and the average active user spends 55 minutes per day checking or updating their newsfeed. If we assume all users are “active”, this amounts to (the equivalent of) an incredible 52,279 YEARS per day spent on Facebook.
There is no doubt that Facebook has reconnected old friends, served as an easy bridge for quick communication, and allowed people to share their business and personal lives in a new and exciting ways. But is there a societal downside to this torrent of flippant, instantaneous, and often narcissistic overshare? Aside from the security and privacy implications of sharing inappropriate details of location or age or sexuality, there is another element that I am not sure has been explored fully.
Is Facebook causing divorce? Increasing evidence suggests that easy access to out-of-context personal details and feelings from others can become a distraction and temptation that fuels the exploration of unconstructive possibilities by the recipient. Can quickly and easily reconnecting with people from one’s past cause the reawakening of feelings that are out of context and likely irrelevant, yet real and powerful enough to cause marital disruption?
Clearly, Facebook does not cause divorce, as there are any manner of ways to end a marriage, if one is so inclined. But this new form of communication is clearly having some effect on relationships, as it opens a door to the past instantly and fuels communication between people in a radically new way.
While data is as scant as Facebook is new, an article from Australia digs into the issue, stating that, “British divorce firm Divorce-Online said Facebook was cited in one-fifth of the divorce petitions it processed last year…Australian Family Relationships Clearing House manager Elly Robinson said online behavior was causing friction in households. “Relationships develop more quickly online because inhibitions are lowered, it’s easy to exchange information, people are online 24/7, there’s an (endless) amount of people you can link up with who are there for the same reason, real life pressures fade away … it’s a bit of a fantasy world,” she said.
CNET blogger Chris Matyszczyk has written several posts about this subject and, in one, explores the notion of Facebook fueling a sort of addictive jealousy feedback loop, whereby potentially damaging communication is happened upon by one partner, causing a disruptive, endless loop of distrust to form, with Facebook at the center of this storm of discontent.
Obviously, a phone call or an email or letter can accomplish a reconnection to an old flame, if one is so inclined. But Facebook allows this curiosity about the past, and the temptation to explore it, to become actionable in a matter of seconds. Like a magic, instantaneous worldwide time machine Rolodex, complete with photos and (often) intimate details, Facebook fosters connections and the sharing of thoughts and feelings that are perhaps detrimental to one’s current situation, or at least out of context.
The tendency to peek into the lives of others that Facebook fosters is by-design and how Facebook’s business model works. The more “what’s on your mind” thoughts and details shared and read, the more pages viewed, the more ads displayed, the more money Facebook makes ($800 Million annually, at last count). And this is largely positive and benign. But this also can lead to the turning over of emotional rocks from the past, that are sometimes best left undisturbed. People often do not think about how their personally charged thoughts and feelings will affect others, when broadcast to a wide audience, with a range of perspectives and loyalties.
Living in the moment, being present, and looking ahead is not something Americans are particularly good at. We tend to yearn for “days gone by” and wish we had done things differently. We devour nostalgia with an insatiable appetite for “a simpler time”. Classic Coke, The Wonder Years, Happy Days, Back To The Future, That 70's Show…the list goes on and on. Being thoughtful and aware and mindful is very important and this is especially true when communicating with others.
Facebook, on the other hand, tends to encourage flip, often thoughtless interaction and communication that sometimes causes unforeseen harm. A letter can be torn up. A private conversation held in-trust can be kept secret. A harsh exchange can be apologized for and forgotten about. But a Facebook post is different. It can be forwarded and copied and viewed without limit. A flip curiosity about “what might have been” or a personal complaint from the moment, can become locked in and temporary feelings pushed out to others without context are easily mistaken for deeper sentiments.
Those who are divorced can share their personal joy and newfound “freedom” with trusted friends who might be in the throes of a difficult period of their marriage. This overshare of thoughts, photos, and “advice” from those who have not succeeded with the hard work required to keep a marriage intact is often counter-productive and can even be purposefully disruptive.
For a frightening look at just how public Facebook is, try typing the search term (in quotes) “don’t tell anyone” into the Openbook site. This is a live searchable feed of real Facebook posts, created to demonstrate the perils of Facebook overshare.
Facebook is a powerful new social networking took with many benefits. Marriage is not always easy. Both of these statements are true. But all who use Facebook should be mindful of the need to be sensitive to others and use extra care when communicating to your network while temporarily blinded by emotion or distress.
MY THOUGHTS
this is getting really uncomfortable. come to think of it, there's so much truth in this article.
By: Wilson Kerr
Every so often a disruptive innovation take root so rapidly that negative sociological impacts are masked by the euphoria of the initial rush to acceptance.
Facebook has over 500 Million users and the average active user spends 55 minutes per day checking or updating their newsfeed. If we assume all users are “active”, this amounts to (the equivalent of) an incredible 52,279 YEARS per day spent on Facebook.
There is no doubt that Facebook has reconnected old friends, served as an easy bridge for quick communication, and allowed people to share their business and personal lives in a new and exciting ways. But is there a societal downside to this torrent of flippant, instantaneous, and often narcissistic overshare? Aside from the security and privacy implications of sharing inappropriate details of location or age or sexuality, there is another element that I am not sure has been explored fully.
Is Facebook causing divorce? Increasing evidence suggests that easy access to out-of-context personal details and feelings from others can become a distraction and temptation that fuels the exploration of unconstructive possibilities by the recipient. Can quickly and easily reconnecting with people from one’s past cause the reawakening of feelings that are out of context and likely irrelevant, yet real and powerful enough to cause marital disruption?
Clearly, Facebook does not cause divorce, as there are any manner of ways to end a marriage, if one is so inclined. But this new form of communication is clearly having some effect on relationships, as it opens a door to the past instantly and fuels communication between people in a radically new way.
While data is as scant as Facebook is new, an article from Australia digs into the issue, stating that, “British divorce firm Divorce-Online said Facebook was cited in one-fifth of the divorce petitions it processed last year…Australian Family Relationships Clearing House manager Elly Robinson said online behavior was causing friction in households. “Relationships develop more quickly online because inhibitions are lowered, it’s easy to exchange information, people are online 24/7, there’s an (endless) amount of people you can link up with who are there for the same reason, real life pressures fade away … it’s a bit of a fantasy world,” she said.
CNET blogger Chris Matyszczyk has written several posts about this subject and, in one, explores the notion of Facebook fueling a sort of addictive jealousy feedback loop, whereby potentially damaging communication is happened upon by one partner, causing a disruptive, endless loop of distrust to form, with Facebook at the center of this storm of discontent.
Obviously, a phone call or an email or letter can accomplish a reconnection to an old flame, if one is so inclined. But Facebook allows this curiosity about the past, and the temptation to explore it, to become actionable in a matter of seconds. Like a magic, instantaneous worldwide time machine Rolodex, complete with photos and (often) intimate details, Facebook fosters connections and the sharing of thoughts and feelings that are perhaps detrimental to one’s current situation, or at least out of context.
The tendency to peek into the lives of others that Facebook fosters is by-design and how Facebook’s business model works. The more “what’s on your mind” thoughts and details shared and read, the more pages viewed, the more ads displayed, the more money Facebook makes ($800 Million annually, at last count). And this is largely positive and benign. But this also can lead to the turning over of emotional rocks from the past, that are sometimes best left undisturbed. People often do not think about how their personally charged thoughts and feelings will affect others, when broadcast to a wide audience, with a range of perspectives and loyalties.
Living in the moment, being present, and looking ahead is not something Americans are particularly good at. We tend to yearn for “days gone by” and wish we had done things differently. We devour nostalgia with an insatiable appetite for “a simpler time”. Classic Coke, The Wonder Years, Happy Days, Back To The Future, That 70's Show…the list goes on and on. Being thoughtful and aware and mindful is very important and this is especially true when communicating with others.
Facebook, on the other hand, tends to encourage flip, often thoughtless interaction and communication that sometimes causes unforeseen harm. A letter can be torn up. A private conversation held in-trust can be kept secret. A harsh exchange can be apologized for and forgotten about. But a Facebook post is different. It can be forwarded and copied and viewed without limit. A flip curiosity about “what might have been” or a personal complaint from the moment, can become locked in and temporary feelings pushed out to others without context are easily mistaken for deeper sentiments.
Those who are divorced can share their personal joy and newfound “freedom” with trusted friends who might be in the throes of a difficult period of their marriage. This overshare of thoughts, photos, and “advice” from those who have not succeeded with the hard work required to keep a marriage intact is often counter-productive and can even be purposefully disruptive.
For a frightening look at just how public Facebook is, try typing the search term (in quotes) “don’t tell anyone” into the Openbook site. This is a live searchable feed of real Facebook posts, created to demonstrate the perils of Facebook overshare.
Facebook is a powerful new social networking took with many benefits. Marriage is not always easy. Both of these statements are true. But all who use Facebook should be mindful of the need to be sensitive to others and use extra care when communicating to your network while temporarily blinded by emotion or distress.
MY THOUGHTS
this is getting really uncomfortable. come to think of it, there's so much truth in this article.
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